Wednesday, September 16, 2015

good for her, not for me

[i'm not really sure why i'm sharing this with the internet and it totally grew out of control as i was writing, but there's something cathartic of getting it all out on (virtual) paper]

This has been my motto lately: "Good for her, not for me". Thanks, Amy Poehler. Apparently I have a lot of thoughts on the subject brewing in my head, so bear with me.

Women can be so hard on each other. And on ourselves. The comparing, the judging, the gossiping. Sometimes (all the time) it seems easier to complain about things together than to celebrate our successes. The women I know are wonderful and talented and doing great things, but sometimes those accomplishments and skills get buried under a female-wide cloud of negativity and we feel ashamed to share important things.

But what about when things are awesome? Why can't we share our successes when we climb a mountain or have a good hair day or do something amazing at work? Let's be happy for each other. Just because someone else has something good happen doesn't mean you are any less of a person. Good for her (seriously, great job making that gorgeous cake/running a marathon/planning the perfect birthday party) not for me (I'll develop other talents). Just because something is a good idea for someone else doesn't mean it is the right thing for you or your family. I see you feeding your kids all the organic things and taking three pilates classes and traveling the world, but that's just not in my budget or schedule right now.

A teacher in high school read us a short story (which I can't find on the Internet for the life of me) about a society where successful people were given things to carry so they were literally weighed down and wouldn't leap higher than everyone else. The result was everyone leaping at the same level--mediocrity. Everyone has something that makes them an awesome leaper. When we compare ourselves to other people, we're weighing them down and keeping us all at the same mediocre, judgy level. Good for her for leaping! This one's not for me, but I'll go leap high on something else!

If we're being honest (we are), I'm not a fan of the mentality of many young, LDS moms that life is so hard and babies are so cranky and we should just watch Netflix all the time. Good for you, but not for me, sister! Let's get out there and do something and show all the amazing things women can do. It comes down to how we prioritize things differently from each other. For me, crossing things off my to-do list and adventuring with Rhett and meeting work deadlines are important. Making amazing holiday decorations and social media and long phone conversations aren't. But that's ok! We can all do our things and be happy and share our successes and be happy for each other! Life is good! Females are strong as heck!

Go, ladies! Leap!


  1. PREACH!! Totally with you on this. Sometimes (most of the time) when I get together with other moms it's just one big gripe session about our terrible kids and our unhelpful husbands. I think we need to be more positive and uplifting and waaaay less judgey about each other. Good thoughts, Michelle.


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